I mean it really has been around eleven years of me been single and it has thrown up many questions about myself and I aim to try and find some answers. As for the search for love, that had been about a twenty year search after I split up from my children’s mother and there was only one person that came even close.

How Do I Feel About This Fact?

Well after searching for love for around twenty years and failing its kind of makes you feel like a reject. I mean if it was not bad enough learning that in later life I was autistic but also realising that that may well have caused my failure in my search for love also, it all feels like I wasn’t made to ever find love. Not having a partner leaves you isolated, alone with nobody to care about you, cuddle you and nobody for you to care for either, you have no-one to share your life with.(Apart from family.) You don’t have that closeness, where you have someone who is there for you and you there for them. You have no special person In your life. It does hurt to feel so unwanted and that been such a nice guy, a good guy does nothing good for you in the world of love. It just seems the rich lying bad guys get the good ones to me.

How Do You Feel About The Previous Relationships You Had

Well my first girlfriend was when I was at school, a long time ago and to be fair I had not a clue what I was doing. The most funny bit was snogging round the back of school and banging my head on a brick wall just at the same moment when people started watching us! I wasn’t with her very long and we just kind of fizzled out – however later on in life she got a job where I was working and god she looked amazing but then she got locked up for manslaughter or murder or something, last I saw of her. The four and a half year relationship with the mother of my two children kind of was too fast and everything happened so quick and to be fair I do not believe I really loved her either. After that ended I tried dating online with no success until I met this women and we were on and off seeing each other for about six months – I say on and off because she lived a fair way away from me and the travelling was not easy. It ended where I found out she had been lying to me the whole time – disaster! After that I had a few dates, one where the women bought me a meal but we didn’t hit it off at all. My last relationship ended about eleven years ago which lasted about a year and a half and was a complete mess in the end and I am so pleased to be well away from her! So after that ended I searched and tried online dating again but was pretty much put off by my last experiences so I kind of gave up with the idea. There was a beautiful women I really really liked for such a lot of years but she had a boyfriend so I couldn’t go after other guys girls as I felt that was a bad and wrong thing to do. She was I would say as close to finding some kind of real love as I probably ever managed but she was unavailable. All in all I would say that all my relationship’s failed.

What Did You Learn From The Past Relationships?

I feel that it was pointless getting in to any of them without having true real feelings. Yeah I got two great kids with the children’s mother but ended up with an awful lot of debt with paying child maintenance and caring from them – I ended up paying twice for my children while if I had still been with their mother I would have only have paid once. That relationship was worth it just for the children but hell the debt you get placed upon you as a single guy is horrific If you have children – its like a tax for been a dad still. The other two relationships only wasted my money and brought me nothing but trouble and so never again will I enter into something without having those real, true feelings. I learnt that I would have been better off not having any more relationships as they made my life worse. I know now that having a relationship is a risk and it can wreck your life big time!

Will You Be Looking For Anyone?

To be honest no I can’t see the point, I have tried to find love for twenty years and failed and that one women I really really liked is unavailable and probably well out of my league anyway. I know that I need to focus on me and give up on that long-term dream of finding true love, its not meant for me. So no I am happy enough single and I plan to stay that way, I suppose I should not give up on love forever but I will never go looking or hoping for it again.

Have You A Message To Give Anyone Who May be Thinking That You Are Their Man?

Haha, as if there is anyone anyway lol. I would say that yeah if you believe I am your man then for a start you should try and understand autism, you should get to know me and see if anything develops, ye know like real feelings and that. If I am your man you should be willing to not treat me like any other guy you have been with and see me as me. You should know that I am not going to be going and running after you, been there done that, so if I am your man then you would have to ask yourself the question: Am I prepared to show him that I am not a risk? Its kind of simple for me really, I don’t want to take a risk over a women ever again, If I had another relationship I am looking long term with real love and for the rest of my life.