Sex, Love, Social Media And Autism

I've been single for around eleven years and I've not had sex with anyone during that time. It's not something I have missed, tried to get or been bothered about but now I'm desperate for it!! Just joking lol 😂 no I just don't need sex with anyone because there is only one thing I need and that's love and a cuddle. I feel like my dose of love and cuddles has been starved from me most of my life and yeah it hurts. Sex just isn't important in life but love and cuddles I long for so much. I feel like I have had little in the way of love and care all my life and that knowledge that love, cuddles and care has never truly found my warm, loving heart.

That Feeling Of Someone Caring

That feeling of someone caring about me, holding me and been there for me I miss so much. That loving physical contact of holding hands, cuddling up and just been together with someone without the need to talk, without the need to have sex, without the pressures of life, just silence, love and caring. I dream of this, I wish for this and yet I am left wanting. My non sexual physical contact count like hugs over the last eleven years you could count on your hand, that's how starved I've been. The last physical contact I had was around the new year and a lovely lady put her arm around me and I don't think she knows how much that meant to me. The last two times were after my mother died by two old people. I long for someone to really love me and cuddle up to me and care about me, this is a million times more desirable than sex. Having spent the majority of my life alone, even when I have been in relationships has certainly taken its toll on me and clearly my autism has made it so hard to ever find someone who would just understand my needs to be looked after on an emotional level, such as cuddles, love and care. When my children was born, I was giving all the love and care to my children and yet I was not loved and cared for by my partner.(One thing saying that you love someone and another thing showing it.) Children took so much time up and after that initial year together of lust, sex and fun times the alone times become more and more and my partner lacked that emotional support and the cuddles, love and care disappeared. I lost that feeling of someone caring about me. Our relationship went downhill and then once more the sex played a part as we decided to have another child together thinking it would keep our relationship together and yet that was a bad idea and the sex was just that, sex without the love, care and emotional support. We had another child, my daughter and within six weeks our relationship took a massive dive and before I knew it my partner was lying about many things to me and all trust went and it turned into arguments and all love went for good and we split up and it was over.

Sex Is Overrated And Pushed On People

Sex itself is just overrated and it's pushed on people everywhere from social media to TV and films. People get brainwashed into believing that sex has to be between a couple and yet sex is certainly something you can DIY. I suppose when it comes to sex, having sex with a women I love and care about and cuddled up to would be amazing but If I had to choose between sex or a cuddle I would choose a cuddle. Social media like Instagram and Tik Tok has been so sexualised that's as far as I am concerned it's worse than porn. So many young people are been showed and pressured into fitting in with the crowd and making themselves look "hot" just for social media. Does nobody question that most people who view their posts will be weird perverted men who get a kick out of luring after young women or bullies ready to pounce if someone is untrendy or not wearing the latest fashion or the right makeup. This is something that is totally wrong and as far as I'm concerned under eighteen year olds should in no way be aloud to use social media. Sex is pushed on young people from an early age and back into my younger years you certainly would not see young people walking around barely dressed and strutting there stuff for all to see like it was nothing. TV and movies contain so much sex related content these days and the age ratings are barely working to stop young people watching this as that relies on parents, schools and society to control and that control is severely lacking.

My own sex life has been periods of all or nothing and this eleven years of nothing is certainly not missed. I certainly could never go and have sex with someone I did not know, someone I did not love and care about. If I ever have sex again its going to have to be with a someone I want to spend the rest of my life with who will love and care about me and cuddle me.

My Emotional Needs

My own emotional needs are never fulfilled and I know because I am autistic I can't have any physical contact with anybody I am not comfortable with so cuddles with random people are certainly off the cards. It's hard and it hurts when I know that I probably will never be loved or cuddled by a loving caring woman ever again. Dating and searching for romance never works for me online or off and a lot of that is because I am autistic. I never fit in socially, I think women just want someone who is rich, drinks alcohol, likes to party and get drunk etc but I'll never be like that. I don't do parties, dance clubs, social events etc and all I want is that one women to love and care for and for her to love and care for me, oh and of course to give me a cuddles. This wish for a relationship with a women who understands my needs and gets it that I am not like other guys, I have pretty much given up on it. Emotionally I am a fragile autistic guy who needs love, care and attention from any possible girlfriend otherwise its not worth trying and my search for someone who can give me that always end in nobody. As far as I am concerned real love has been driven out of society and been replaced by sex, making babies and peoples image.

What Is Best For Me

I have realised that there is little point in looking for a relationship with just anyone as its a risk, I don't need to be risking anything when it comes to relationships as I am autistic and I really need to think about my wellbeing. Yes I long for that special and unique women to love and care for me and give me cuddles but the risk in finding the wrong women who will just use me and take me for a ride is a danger. I don't want any more children, I don't want any stress, pressure or drama and my current position is the most free I have been for a long time, everything is good apart from that lack of emotional support like love, care and cuddles - There Is Only One!