The Forks In My Love Life

The road of love has failed me my whole life and there were some roads I did not go down and some I did. I now have a quick look back at what could have been and how my life could have been so much different.

The First Girlfriend

I met my first girlfriend at senior school and we got together and with me been so young and stupid I didn’t know what I was doing. Now what if I had know what I was doing? We could have perhaps made a real go of life and I could have been happy still to this day. I could have had a family with her and my whole life could have changed. She would not have killed her partner and been stuck in prison. Of course it could have been me getting killed instead. What if I had stayed with her? Would we have lasted or failed, it is of course impossible to know however that was my first real taste of having a girlfriend.

My Children’s Mother

If I had not got with her and been more clued up about relationships then perhaps I would have no children now, perhaps I would have been with someone else and had children? Or maybe I would never met anyone at all but had a lot more money. This relationship lasted the longest and just maybe if I had been more clued up about relationships then maybe I would have still been with her, who knows! I am happy to have my children but the relationship was not the best and in many ways I regret it, in some I do not. I wonder what would have happened if I had not done this one?

The Women Who Lied

This slow and weird relationship was a big mistake and I was happy to be away from her, she lied to me on a massive scale. If I had not realised what was happening and had carried on with it I dare say I would have had no money, had more kids and been with an abusive weirdo. I could have been put in danger and I had a lucky escape from this one! She was a dangerous person who was been investigated for abuse of her child and was lying to me the whole time, thank god I left her!

My Ex

Now looking back I was stupid to get with her but it happened but what could have happened if I had not got with her. I would have had more money, my health would have been better and I would have been happier. I could have met someone else and had more children and I could have had a far better life or perhaps I would never have met anyone. If I had not split up with her I could have ended up having children with her and she certainly was not the kind of women who could look after children when she could barely look after herself. If I had not left her and stayed with her my finances would have been terrible, my health would have been terrible and my life would have been terrible. Thank god I split up from her and in the end left her.

The Polish Women 1

What if instead of worrying that she had a boyfriend I had gone after her and made a move. What if we had got together? I could have been happy with her and perhaps had more kids with her, we could have been a happy family. Again its a what if. She was beautiful, funny, crazy and she was perhaps one of the most amazing women I ever met and yet I did nothing to try and win her. We used to get on so well and yet we fell out and stopped talking and I ended up with my ex. So stupid of me.

The Polish Women 2

I should probably just copy and paste the words above really. I fell for her when I first met her and again I did nothing because she had a boyfriend. She was more beautiful, more funny, more crazy and more amazing then the women above and yet again I did nothing at the time because she had a boyfriend. What if I had done something at the time? Perhaps her and I would have had our own family and been happy and in love? I could have been happy now. Instead I was with my ex unhappy. We fell out about two years ago and I miss talking with her, miss her cuteness and miss her friendship. If I had done something about it when I first met her, who knows what may have happened – big regrets now.

Summery

In some ways I regret all my relationships but at least I got two kids from one of them. I regret not trying to make something happen with the two polish women, who knows what would have happened if I had done. The last polish women I still see and she’s still the most amazing women in the world! But time has passed and life changes. I regret not trying to make something happen with her and I know now it is too late to make it happen, I wish, I dream that it wasn’t but realistically it is. She is older and has kids, I am older and my kids are grown up now. Its again a what If I had tried to win her love when I first met her, I could have had kids with her, a family and love. I don’t ever see a way back, I can’t reverse time and try again, if only life was like that. She still has a boyfriend as far as I know, I don’t want any more kids to look after and she has kids to look after and she doesn’t like me now anyway. All in all this fork in my road passed and I missed trying to make that turn and yeah it hurts but what happened happened and I should stop looking back.

Conclusion

Time has passed me by and love has not entered my life properly and I dare say it never will. I have made poor choices along the way and mostly gone down the wrong forks in the road and now all I see is dead ends instead. All I can do now is plan my single life and keep my eyes open in-case any more forks in my road come my way good and bad. I must at all costs look after number one and make better decisions in my life. Who knows what lies ahead!